chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
