She said her name was "party"
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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