What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
