maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
