I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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