we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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