I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
In the future we'll all be gay
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
