i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
