do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
