what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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