i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
