shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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