Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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