cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
