Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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