There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
now i know why i became what i already was.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
