Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
