Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
