i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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