I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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