drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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