Whats the glycemic index on semen?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
