Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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