You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
