Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
