her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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