I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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