I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
