did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
