You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
