it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Randomize
