I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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