Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
