Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
