after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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