From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
