are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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