All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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