It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize