Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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