day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
