FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
