I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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