I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
