Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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