Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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