shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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