That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You may now shotgun with the bride
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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