then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
