girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
