I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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