why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
