Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
